Is Abroad Really All That?

Being abroad in Paris has been a rollercoaster of emotions, to say the least. When I thought about being abroad I always pictured the future memories of travel, new friends, and monumental moments that would shape me! You always forget about the moments of getting sick in a foreign country, the downtime, the confusion of living somewhere where you don’t speak the language and being homesick. I know that I did not mentally prepare myself for that! 

The more I voiced my feelings to family and friends they were feeling the same way, my friends studying in Rome and Florence at the same time as I expressed the same feeling. I have heard people say “you will never be more lonely than you are in a city filled with people” this idea of loneliness speaks to me because of how huge Paris really is. I can speak for an American living in Paris, I feel like the size of a mouse in this city that doesn’t seem bigger than where I live but boy do I feel small here. 

This feeling of uncertainty being in Paris and not enjoying every second of it has kept me up at night, am I in the minority of not enjoying every second of my abroad experience? I am doing something wrong by not exploring every free moment I have? Should I be taking more trips? Traveling abroad as a college student has such a stigma because today we share every single moment of our daily lives with social media and why would you share the bad moments no one wants to see those! The part of being abroad that no one wants to hear about is school! You actually have to go to your classes here, and you have the same amount of work if not more you do at your home University. When I pictured being abroad I was not picturing me in class furiously typing notes in Contemporary Political Thought, or spending hours reading the Anthology of poetry since the 1800’s. I was actually hoping my classes would be something like discover Paris, a wine tasting class, and perhaps a class entitled ‘the best baguettes of Paris’. Sadly this is not my reality. 

My reality is that this experience so far has been hard and I have had to work harder than I ever had in order for me stay sane and not beat myself up for being exhausted after doing my homework and deciding to sleep instead of exploring Paris. Technology has closed the gap specifically when talking about missing family and friends which I am grateful for. Paris continues to amaze me, challenge me, and show me just how strong I truly am. 

A representation of me slowly growing stronger in Paris...?

While writing this post I stumbled across some articles:
https://www.wanderingearl.com/feeling-lost-confused-lonely-while-traveling/
https://www.forbes.com/sites/johnnyjet/2017/10/23/ten-tips-for-traveling-alone/#47b0e6fd7c49